I don’t know about you but I believe in miracles. Not because I have proof or anything like that, only because in my lifetime, I am lucky to have witnessed two of the greatest miracle workers my country ever produced at work. Their names alone strike fear into the hearts of wandering demons and underworld princesses. Those names are: PASTOR CHRIS OYAKHILOME and PROPHET T.B. JOSHUA.
Typing those names alone sent shivers down my spine. If you’re hearing these names for the first time, and are unfamiliar with their work, let me enlighten you with a hip hop analogy: These two are to the exorcist game what Drake and Kendrick Lamar are to the rap game. Pastor Chris being the Drake in this situation and Prophet TBJ being the Kdot. I’ll give a brief description of each below.
Beloved pastor, author, singer and Ph.D holder (Ph.D – Pretty Huge Divinity). Pastor Chris took an alternative approach to casting out demons to huge success. This is the first man I ever saw on Tv to sweet talk a demon to death. His method is very scientific if you think about it
First, he gets in touch with the demon’s emotions. Tries to understand the motivations of the demon. Holds hands with the human vessel and sometimes hugs them. You know, he’s like a therapist but one with godlike powers.
Second, he serenades the demon, sometimes with a song from his youth, other times with ballroom dancing and lots of eye contact. Seriously tho, What demon could resist this?
Third, he explains the situation to the demon. “You know I can’t have you possessing one of my members” sometimes in tears… sometimes the demon is in tears… sometimes the audience is in tears… I’m just saying, there’s a lot of tears involved.
Finally he expels the demon with a gentle breeze of his minty fresh breath. The demon swoons. It’s pretty much game over after that.
Earlier I compared this man (of God) with Kendrick Lamar and its not just because both men call themselves Prophets… Prophet TBJ really doesn’t care about the hood politics or conventions of the healing game… that demon is coming out one way or another.
Prophet TBJ declares all out war on all demons and tolerates no arguments. He’s been known to whip demons, berate demons, lock them up, arrest demons (with handcuffs).
His deliverance equipment reads like something out of the SAW movie series or a hardcore BDSM fantasy – ropes, canes, masks, cages, you name it, he has it. Needless to say, by the time he’s done with a demon, they’re left extremely sore by the experience. All this he does with a wry smile on his face.
Now that I’m done adoring these great men (of God), I want to address an issue…
A lot of nonbelievers and atheists would argue.. “This is stupid, miracles aren’t real” and “If miracles are real, and exorcism is true, how come there are still a lot of crazy people on the street?” You have a point, there are a lot of crazy people out there. But I will answer that question how all great men of God have answered questions, with a parable….
Once upon a time I was strolling through our neighbourhood market and as fate would have it, there was a notorious madman roaming the streets. A Keke Napep pastor at the time, new to the rules and regulations of miracle working, looked to challenge himself and his faith and saw this as an opportunity to show himself.
“I will cure that madman” he said.
The traders on the street scoffed, unbelieving; but the pastor was not deterred. The madman stood by the gutter, staring into the horizon when the pastor approached him.
“MADMAN” the pastor called out.
The madman, shocked by the address, responded “What did you call me?”
“I want to introduce you to my God!” the pastor continued. “The one that will cure all your problems!”
“Who told you I have problems?” asked the madman.
The Pastor bellowed “Do not be afraid!!! The God I am speaking of is up there in the heavens. Look up.”
The madman looked up. “I can’t see anything”
“It is because you are blind! You are blind to the word of God!! I said LOOK UP”
Welcome! Welcome to the Independence day special. Today is a really special day for us. You’re in for a treat, you are. How are you enjoying the holidays? I know you’re probably waiting on Mr President’s mini-ministerial list of ministers right now, but I just thought I’d take the time to start your day off on 1000 words of light-hearted humour. But before I commence with the rib cracking, I have a public service announcement to make, pertaining to these jokes.
These are my creative works. Any comedian that tries to replicate these in any form or manner, living or dead, I’m coming after you with a team of lawyers. By ‘team’ I mean first team plus substitutes and reserves, plus Falcao and Mikel if necessary. You understand? I’m bringing Basketmouth, Ali Baba and AY as witness testimony. No joke. So no funny stuff you hear?
A warning tho, this particular special will be football themed. By ‘football’, I mean ‘soccer’ for you Americans. This generation is all about the soccer, so if you’re last generation this post may not be for you. So If you’d rather–
watch the young and the restless instead of the fast and the furious this post may not be for you. If the only–
picture on your facebook is your passport photograph this post may not be for you. If you still–
take selfies with your hands like the ancient Greeks instead of with selfie sticks, this one may not be for you. Please, this is that next level, OS 8 and above my sister, Windows 20 and above my brother.
I don’t know about your country, but in mine, soccer is the main thing. 3 out of 10 people in the nation are wearing jerseys right now; that’s between 50 million and 70 million people depending on what guesswork you’re using… Supersport is creating more exciting and expensive channels everyday, just for football. And when it comes to national soccer, there are two things involved. It’s a match between..
Let’s face it, if this was a real match, the EPL would be in the lead right now. The Backlays (pause) premier league is here to stay. Our local leagues are just not as… glamorous, you know? I myself am an Arsenal fan, which probably means that I’d rather travel thousands of satellite miles to have my heart broken, than break it here locally. You can imagine. But don’t blame me.. The EPL is like a cigarette; you know its bad for you, but you still tune in with your friends every week– OK, that was a bad analogy, but you get the point.
Don’t get me wrung, the NPFL is an amazing league too, but I have some issues with it. Foremost of all, the names of the clubs.
Now, when a foreign club names their team it’s usually named after the town its from, right? Lazio isn’t called Lazio because they need lazy players. FC Cologne don’t wear expensive perfume to their matches (or maybe they do, I don’t know). Just because it’s called Chelsea FC doesn’t mean that Jose Mourinho has an unhealthy hankering for dry gin (or maybe he does.. look in his eyes, they’re sunken I tell you).
But when you call yourselves Niger Tornadoes FC, I expect to see some Tornadoes in Niger state. Or are you calling your club a natural disaster? I should hope not. Also I’m pretty sure there are no Wolves in Warri, except it’s extremely hungry ones that feed on sardines. Those’d be the first wolves with a sense of humour, I bet you.
If you’re gonna be called Dolphins FC at least let there be some Dolphins in your area. I can sympathise with Sharks FC because last match I watched, their stadium looked like a swimming pool, no offense, no fence either. It was waterlogged. The nets on the goalposts only made it look like they were fishing or something. But seriously Yo, on the real, how come these clubs are named after animals we’ve never seen here before?? I mean Gombe united has a logo of a Lobster playing a soccer ball, A LOBSTER, or at least I think it’s a lobster…
– that’s just weird. How do you play good if you’re looking up to a lobster? Answer: You don’t.
The shtick reminds me of national address names. Same difference. An address name should be simple. I think. Like… David street. That’s a good street name. Easy to remember and reach…
‘Where are you headed?’
‘Oh I know where that is it’s the road over there.’
Thanks a lot.
‘Great name isn’t it?’
I know right?
The name of the street I live on right now is impossible to remember. It’s impossible to find. I’m basically in witness protection by virtue of my street name. A GPS couldn’t find my street if it tried. I live on Chief Diumoterubili Akinlubonmi Salamander street.. Something like that. Whenever someone comes to visit I tell them to meet me at shoprite. Meet me at shoprite… its for your own good.
But back to the soccer names. Let’s keep it realistic I mean. What’s wrong with Mosquito United of Enugu, or Cockroach FC of Lagos? These are vicious, goal-oriented animals– realistic to the situation, bruv. I wouldn’t mind a contract with MFM united tho, Yo MFM! Your boy has madt skills over here. Also, I would like to state for the record that I have absolutely nothing against FC Ifeanyi Ubah.
Speaking of Nigerian clubs, I have something against one of your Sharks FC goalkeepers. I wont call any names, but I think I have his picture..
Now, I can think of a couple reasons why this guy I speak of is still your active goalkeeper. Number One is that he is so big that he has his own gravitational pull, one that attracts the ball towards him whether he dives or not.. if you’re into that physics stuff.
Number Two is that maybe there’s a kind of Suge K. Night situation going on between this guy I speak of and his coach, maybe. I hope not. Yo, I didn’t even know football jerseys came in this guy’s size; but that’s by the way… National football will be great again. Amen. *thumbs up emoji*
I just discovered, after years of hardwork and practice, Aba boys have finally perfected the NIKE sign. Seriously, the logos are indistinguishable now. The Nike slippers were the first to go. They’ve flooded the market like water. Next was the Nike trousers, then the Nike wallet hit the streets, then the Nike food flasks. Don’t even get me started on the Nike cufflinks and the Nike toothbrush.. the watch with like four Nike signs on it; Nike sign on a necklace, Nike Micheal Kors, Nike Jimmy Choos and the all-new Nike-Adidas.
P/S Don’t forget to check out my Amazon page for books, comics and lots more content. Thanks for reading. Feel free to Comment if you like. *smile emoji*
This thing has troubled me for wayy too long. Sometimes, I’ll put on the TV and think I’m watching Music Africa, only for somebody to tell me “No, that’s an AMERICAN RAPPER.” What is an AMERICAN RAPPER doing on MUSIC AFRICA then? Or am I not seeing clearly??
I cannot keep it to myself any longer. If he talks like a Nigerian, acts like a Nigerian and looks like a Nigerian, then he MUST be a Nigerian, no? I need to satisfy my conscience. I am pretty sure these people on my Television are 100% NIGERIAN and I will prove it to you RIGHT NOW. So let’s goo…
AMERICAN RAPPERS I’M SURE THAT ARE ACTUALLY NIGERIANS
You don’t have to look far to know that Future is an Igbo man. First off.. what grown man goes and names himself ‘Future’? A grown IGBO man, that’s who. He’s already naming himself after the next generation. FUTURE is probably short for FUTURE AND SONS LTD. PLC. or FUTURE SINACHI MUSICS. This brother is thinking ahead.
This guy dated CIARA and then dumped her when she started losing weight.. Don’t blame Future tho.. Igbo men LIKE their women with some meat on their bones. But when Ciara started putting ballerina clothes on and walking on tippy toes, Future was probably like “OGINI BU IFEAA!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!! I CANt TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!”
Have you even heard Future’s song “Let’s fuck up some commas”? That’s an IGBO ANTHEM right there mayne.. I’m saying that’s IGBO all over okay? Just listen to this guy: One thaasand to a hundred thaasaand, Hundred thaasand to five-hundred- thaaaaasand…. Five hundred thaasand to a million thaaaaaasand… Only Igbo men count like that, Only Igbo men talk like that… Come home Maazi Future.
Now many of you might have heard of this guy right here. This guy is Oliver de Coque reincarnated, man. This guy inherited his wardrobe from Osadebe directly, you understand? I heard the name of this guy’s new album is OSONDI OWENDI. Certified Igbo man right here. Goat meat peppersoup is probably his favorite flavor..
This guy is Phyno’s long lost twin brother aii? JIDENNACHUKWU… we are proud of you our son.. Nwoke Klaasique.
Do you erm..Do you really need me to tell you how Yoruba this guy is?? This guy is more Yoruba than a DADA. Look, there’s no point doubting it. This guy is more Yoruba than Amala and Ewedu soup. This guy is more Yoruba than akara on a Saturday morning. This guy’s volume is Yoruba. His eyes, his lips, his skin – ALL Yoruba. Yoruba daddies have this guy on their playlist next to Pasuma Wonder.. I’m not even joking about that. If I put my TV on mute when this guy comes on, my neighbours complain the music is too loud. That’s Yoruba right there, brother. DAVIDO featured this guy on a track and I couldn’t tell who was who for the ENTIRE VIDEO. Come home bro.
But this wasn’t even what confirmed it for me. I was only like 92% convinced of Onward Mill’s yorubaness until he picked Domitilla, the original Sisi Eko, Nivcki Minaj to be his girl. The Yoruba is strong in this one. This brother complains on twitter on Sunday mornings. That spells one thing to me.. Y. O. R. U. B. A
Kendrick Lamar is the true son of the soil. This boy spits schnapps. This boy has the spirit of two Lions—this boy has the spirit of Ojukwu you kno? This boy breaks kolanut in the studio before every session. Kendricki is what they call “Nwata siri Ike”.. Small but mighty. He is short for a reason bo. Too much fufu, that is. Igwe Kunta. This boy probably enters KFC and orders NKWOBI. This boy harvests new yam every afternoon.
First of all, Only a WARRI boy will name himself TYGA..
“Bros what’s your name?”
‘Tyga! Tyga!’ When you resemble an antelope tho..
This guy saw all the women in Hollywood and went to pick one smallie from Kim Kardashian’s house. Why?? Because WARRI NO DEY CARRY LAST. This guy shouts “AREA!” before every concert tho. This guy’s address is: No 2, Rack City Avenue, Rack City Street, Warri State, Warri. This guy’s shirts don’t come with buttons.
Now, there’s an issue we need to address on this guy right now, okay. Yes I know his name is OLUBOWALE AKINTIMEHIN, but calm down first, there’s a misconception somewhere..
You may be thinking Yoruba but this guy is definitely Hausa. I don’t know where the name came from, but this guy looks like the son of ZAAKI. This guy wears a hijab to his concerts. This guy shot a video with Nicki Minaj (See Clapperz) and he didn’t even look at her once. This guy is always staring into space… and you thought he was Yoruba. What Yoruba man can control the volume of their voice…Lets not argue this again. This guy probably takes off his slippers before entering the studio.
Drake is a Calabar man. Don’t ask me, go to Cross River and ask. His reflection in the mirror is Akwa Ibom tho. Every girl he meets wants him to be their houseboy, you kno… Dog meat must be a delicacy in the 6.
This is an excerpt from the mystery thriller ‘THROUGH SHADED EYES’
It was named so because of the cracked views of many of the characters
(or maybe because it cost me so many sleepless nights)
In this book every chapter plays like a chapter of its own. So I have leaked below the entire first chapter for your consideration 🙂
You can find the complete book ‘THROUGH SHADED EYES’ here.
“I know that it is not in my place to ask questions… but may I ask, why you look so worried?”
“You may not.”
“Then I will not. But for your safety, I must be prepared for whatever lays ahead, so that I can protect you from – “
“ – for your safety, you mean.”
“Never my king. I would gladly lay down my life in your service.”
“Then drive faster.”
“We are nearly there.” the car driver said, dimming the lights. It was the early hours of the morning. The air was still dark and awaiting sunlight. “We must tread cautiously. Not many villagers know these parts…”
The car swerved into an uneven lawn creating a pathway of tracks where none had ever reached before. The driver spoke up once more.
“My king I must give you something.” he said, reaching into his pocket quickly and unveiling from his green top a small glass vial. The soonest he had handed it over he replanted both hands on the steering wheel, as though afraid it may have fallen off its hinges if he didn’t.
“What is this supposed to be?” the man in the passenger seat said, squinting at the vial curiously. It looked empty, but only because it was filled with a clear fluid.
“My king, do not be offended. It is a charm, a charm from the white doctors. It is said that it can put a full grown man to sleep in a manner of momen – Do not open it!” he added quickly when the man made to unseal the small bottle.
The driver continued.
“It is very powerful, my king.. unknown in the village. It can protect you in case – “
“No protection is greater than those of the gods in this village.” the man said, returning the vial with a look of disapproval.
The slouching driver kept shut. In the land, no one argued with the king; he was the opus, and yet he was being driven to the edges of the kingdom by only one of his royal guard, the throne servant – Francis.
Francis was a huge man with a huge frame, the most trusted of the king’s men. At the moment he was little short of totally petrified. In fact, his only reluctance – in turning the car backwards and speeding for the safety of the palace – was the oath he had sworn to keep the king’s word at all times. A royal oath of the greatest reverence in the land, and at the moment the king’s word was to keep moving.
The Mercedes 300sl came to a halt in front of a small two-storey building of clay bricks. The light of the morning had begun its sluggish rise. Out of the passenger seat emerged King Kiko Onigo, the kingdom’s topmost symbol of eminence. His rich white robes shone affluence on the air around him; a handsome light toned man with a heavy jaw and impressive beard. His long and gracious sheen had never been cut since his birth. His eyes were fully set on the building ahead, and he proceeded toward it without delay. Francis hurried to overtake him with a cold sweat running down his temple. The king was never to be so exposed. He was the only thing that stood between the king and an uncertain evil that lay ahead, yet he had very little information on the reason for their journey. He was not to ask questions, only to obey orders.
With a quickened pace the pair burst into the clay house doorway and stopped to glance around. The floor was deserted of any human life but their own and supported a dank odour that could not be left unnoticed. Francis unsheathed a 15 inch long blade from a machete pocket on the side of his broad hip. His massive frame alone could have intimidated any living thing. The ground floor was bare, with an eerie presence filling the void. The chest of the unfazed king heaved once, and immediately he headed for the small staircase in the corner with his ward. The music of their shoes echoed throughout the building as they climbed, the royal guard’s muscle tone looking ever more impressive as he gripped the machete harder.
The stairs terminated at a corridor that boasted of four rooms – two on each side, and a dead end. The expression on the face of the king tensed even further. Francis led the way. Cautiously they edged towards the first room. Slowly Francis placed a hand on its handle and pressed down upon it, the door opened. He swung it forwards with great force and sprang into the room with his machete raised high… but no opponent would be granted him. By the emerging morning light of the opposite open window all he saw were three bundles of aged firewood.
The pair sneaked toward the second door on the opposite wall, breathing deeply. The king had his shoulders bunched in an awkward stance, as though he were stooping to get through a short doorway. Francis swung the second door open with great velocity but its creaks revealed nothing but a window and an old rocking chair laying on its side. Suddenly, a ruffling noise came to them from the room ahead. Francis lit up instinctively. In caution they edged towards it sprawled against the wall and creases developed all over the king’s robes. As they reached the door they heard a small noise from within. Francis made to attack, but the culprit had already fled in flight – a small hawk flapped away through the window and soared into the sky. The room was otherwise empty.
Francis straightened up. If truly another soul lurked in the building, of good hearing, surely it must have been aware of their presence by now. With that knowledge he approached the fourth door in a calm stroll and casually parted the door from its frame. Within he saw an assortment of what looked like rolled up rugs and a polished wooden beam the size of an oak tree branch.
“There is no one here.” Francis announced.
King Onigo’s face took up a mix of disappointment and anger, and he fumed at the passageway in an almost comical fashion. His thoughts that once promised of hope had returned to despair. Could the rumours have all been lies? The information he had Francis scour the kingdom for, about a kidnapping that had ended at the same building; yet it was deserted on their arrival. He had been thrown into uncertainty once again.
Francis lowered his sword and observed the king, who had ended his fit of rage and now gazed at the dull floors with a drained look. Whoever they had expected to be here was surely of great importance to him. He could have sent the entire royal guard to find them. He could have the entire kingdom in search of them if he so desired, but instead he had chosen to be brought here alone, in the company of the only other person who knew of his search. Francis saw the shroud of secrecy unnerving, unnecessary and most of all, dangerous.
The building came alive with footsteps once more but this time it did not belong to the royal pair. The attention of the king and the guard was instantly drawn to the beginning of the corridor where a mir of shadow was beginning to form. Francis suddenly attained a new awareness of the situation around him. The unknown was coming up the stairs and the king was exposed…
“My king you should get into a room… my king…”
He needed to hide him. The aliens were mere moments away; but the king had other ideas. He never budged. The fear in his eyes was nothing compared to the intensity in his face as he stared down the darkness that approached…
Two tall figures appeared in the hallway. At the sight of King Onigo and his ward they stopped dead. By the curvatures of their silhouettes they were a man and a woman. For a moment all the four did was stare at each other’s frames. Then, without warning, the male silhouette broke the inaction and started a sprint back down the stairs. Francis was unsure of what to make of the situation, but he had his blade at the ready, his thoughts aimed at protecting the king. It was to that end that his heart gave its mightiest jump of the morning, when he saw King Onigo sprinting toward the female image, which had refused to move.
“My king!” Francis screamed, and gave chase. The king was spirited in his sprint as he had never known of him. His robes parted at his sides like water waves in turbulence. He would not be able to catch up to him before he reached the beginning of the passageway.
Francis gave a loud groan…
But King Onigo never collided with the woman. In truth, they made no contact at all. He ran past her and headed for the stairs. The guard was too slowed by his bulky frame to do anything about it. For a third time that morning the hallway became a song of echoing shoes. The woman frame remained still on his approach as though asleep on her feet. Francis’ anxiety rose to a peak as he reached her, but he needed to safeguard the king. All he could manage of his curiosity as he ran past was a quick glance at her face. She looked pale with widened eyes and a drooped lip. She wasn’t standing her ground at all, only shocked out of her wits.
As Francis joined in the noisy notes that were the clattering of soles on stairs, the king was already approaching the bottom of them. The unknown man was heading for the door, his movement impeded by a noticeable limp. Francis took the steps two at a time, trying his most to keep an eye on what was unfurling below. The king ran with his head forward; he was not running away, rather giving full chase, and by the distance between them, he would reach the figure before he got to the door. In a blanket leap, the king collided into the back of the male figure, knocking him off his feet and unto the hard floor in a flurry of grunts. The king turned him on his back, and bore down on him in a panting conquest.
“Where did you keep her?!” King Onigo screamed, bunching his palms upon the man’s aged shirt threateningly. “Where did you keep her!”
“Who?” The man looked a middle age pauper with stubbles all over his jaw and chin and cheekbones that almost protruded through the skin that housed them. The rest of his face was a blur of raging sweat.
“I will have your head severed from its shoulders if you do not speak now!” King Onigo demanded, as Francis appeared beside them.
“Where did you keep her!”
“Who?!” The man was clearly in pain. “I do not know!!”
“Where is Meriola? TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!”
Francis’ ears prickled at the sound of the name. They were the only step closer he had come to understanding the king’s actions.
“I do not know! I donot know! Please I came looking for her too!!
“SPEAK NOW OR DIE!”
“I swear it! I came looking for her too. I – I weave raffia. I weave raffia with her that is what I do for a living! I heard she was brought here so I came to see if it was true. Please don’t kill me!”
King Onigo looked into the man’s face, fuming. He wanted to hit him, injure him, pierce him, do anything to feel like he had bought himself closer to finding Meriola, but the fear in the man’s eyes was unmistakable. It would be all for nothing. He let go of the man; his spirits once more returned to cinders. Francis quickly made to help him on his feet. The king was never to have such interactions with commoners.
I was watching an episode of Justice League (2001 TV series) the other day and something struck me. Usually I watch “Superhero” cartoons to be intrigued by the powers of the gifted characters (watch them blow stuff up), but this one time made me think to look at their personalities….. It was the opening sequence that struck me.
The one time I chose not to skip it, I learned more about the characters of the Justice League than any episode conceived. I felt I knew Superman, Batman, Wonder woman, Hawkgirl, The Flash, Green Lantern and Martian Manhunter on a more personal level. And I’ll explain why….
First off, Justice League is a series about a group of Superheroes who decide that it would be better for the Earth if they joined forces. So every episode a new threat presents itself, and it’s up to these guys to stop it..
Justice League has a unique opening sequence. The superheroes get to showcase their talents in peculiar 3D, even when the cartoons are 2D drawings.. but much before then, silhouettes of Justice League characters walk towards the screen in a particular formation, a formation that never changes throughout the series:
Judging from their figure forms, from the left its, Martian Manhunter, Green Lantern, Wonder woman, Superman, Batman, Flash and Hawkgirl. On their slow advance, their forms dissolve in the rising sun and are transformed into the letters J.U.S.T.I.C.E respectively as seen here
It could be overlooked by anybody, but this transformation holds more meaning than meets the eye. Not only do the symbols uncannily fit the body shapes of the characters, they provide more insight into their personalities as well. Taking each letter individually, I will propose why:
J – Martian Manhunter
J is a letter that is widely associated with important biblical matyrs and god figures, like Jesus and Jehovah.. and the Martian Manhunter’s story is not so different from theirs. He even introduces himself as J‘onn J‘onzz.. an implied nod to the name John.
Following the series, J‘onn joins the Justice League after a siege of predators attacks his home planet, Mars. He is the only survivor, becoming so by sealing the invaders in suspended animation (much like Jesus sealing demons in hell after his death). He is only on Earth to warn humans of the impending danger from the aliens’ escape.
Martian Manhunter is also easily the most emotionally available character in the series, and shows the most self sacrifice. His powers range from the miraculous to the ghostly: Invisibility, Levitation, telepathy, he’s able to pass through others and manipulate their internal organs. Martian Manhunter is depicted as a perpetually morose and wandering character. He lives in an emotional Jail he fashioned for himself. And even with the vastness of his intelligence and the extent of his powers, he will always put himself in harms way to protect others. He is, in the true sense of the word.. Just.
U – Green Lantern
U is for Understanding and no other character in JL embodies wisdom as much as Green Lantern. In the opening sequence, Green Lantern recharges his power ring and is immediately seen as a harrowing character with his eyes shining a grim white.
Green Lantern’s ring exudes Ultimate power and its forces are so unnervingly complex that only a mind like his could control; as such, he is able to shoot Ultrarays of very many shapes and designs. Even with all the power attributed to him he is not corrupted by it in any way. In an early episode he willingly hands over his ring to a tribunal on the suggestion of its misuse, and delivers himself to be arrested. His demeanour is likened to that of an army general, who has seen many battles and wars, who knows when to attack and when to retreat, when to intimidate and when to apologise. He is like a father figure to the group.
S – Wonder woman
The Seeping S; Slender, Serene.. Sexy. Admit it or not, Wonder Woman is the Justice League member Superman aspires to be. He even submits to her prowess in battle.
As an amazon dedicating herself to the human race, she is the one that most embodies purity of heart and clarity of action. She is also the team’s most Superstitious member, who dedicates her battles and attributes her triumphs to the greek goddess hera.
Wonder Woman’s refusal to be corrupted can be seen in the rings on her wrist, which she uses to deflect enemy attacks, and her lasso of truth that impales them to “Surrender to truth”. As many things in life, her beauty lies in her Simplicity.
T – Superman
It’s easy to see why Superman takes up the centre T in JUSTICE as he is the core and leader of the Justice League. Every other member looks to him for direction and respects him.. like a Temple. He is the Temple of the group.
He is Tough and Tenacious, but also Tame. In the opening sequence, he punches through a wall violently.. then slowly flies through it. His attraction to Wonder Woman lies in the fact that she refuses to be swayed by the evils of the world, which he occasionally finds himself succumbing to; and that she mirrors him in strength and devotion. It may also be because she is, well.. hot.
It could be important to note that in the opening sequence, all the characters to the right of Superman (ie. Martian Manhunter, Green Lantern and Wonder Woman) represent the “good” side of the Justice League, while the characters to the right of Supes (Batman, Hawkgirl, Flash) represent the “bad” side of the Justice League, but in character only. What I mean is, the characters to his right all have predominantly good traits in their personalities. However the characters to his left have one predominant bad (evil) trait. For example, Batman is driven mostly by vengeance and is almost Supes’ complete opposite. Hawkgirl is driven mostly by wrath, she will hit first and ask questions later. Flash is cocky and arrogant, and will brag about his speed any time he has the opportunity. Superman represents a point of balance between all these contrasting characters.
I – Batman
Batman is not only cool, he’s Ice cold. The visibility of the bat ears on his silhouette shows he accentuates the group. He’s a straight arrow, who’s never deterred by ANYTHING even though he’s the only team member that’s pure human. In the opening sequence, he throws a bat shaped blade into the infinite distance. He represents the vision, the eye (i) of the group.
In many ways, Batman also represents the future of the Justice League: a human that dedicates themself to defending the earth without assistance from Super beings. He is the team’s most Intelligent and Inspiring member. As Bruce Wayne, he creates the space station which the team use as their main base, and is always tasked with creating new Ideas that improve the league and gets them out of sticky situations. He is Superman’s closest unspoken rival.
C – Flash
The Flash is Cunning, Crafty and Clever. Also Comical. As the fastest man alive he works against the Clock to protect the earth, but sometimes he can be a real Calamity to the group. He represents the spirit of friendliness of the league towards the human race, as he is the league member they can relate with the most (which is saying something, as Batman is actually all human). He is the team’s most light hearted.. he even sounds like a kid.
E – Hawkgirl
Hawkgirl is the most Evasive member of the Justice League. She takes to the sky like a bird and bludgeons anything in her path. She may represent freedom and Escape from oppression the team tries so hard to maintain on Earth. In battle, she always comes off as the most Excited of all the group to fight off enemies.