ODE TO MESSI

MY EXTREMELY GAY ODE TO LIONEL MESSI

Oh what are balls,
but magnets at your feet?

That your moves are never seen
‘less they be on repeat?

Oh I weep, weep
for the defence,

For even if a thousand men
made promises to keep,

the goalposts would yet expand
by an inch;

Fifa ’15 put your worth at over 100000000 dollars
That’s the budget of 3 of our countries,
But if a club

should wish to be so broke,
their revenues you would replenish,
with a shot and a skirmish,
On porn sites your dribbles

are a fetish,

but I wouldn’t know anything about that…

messi 10
Oh what is the number 10 on your jersey,
but the number of players
on your squad unnecessary,

No ‘I’ in team
but two in Lionel,
Messi;

And even though your growth be stunted,
the menus of your chef
are steadily hunted,

To say better players exist
is a lie,
Even Ronaldo himself
would shrink in size;
(By Ronaldo I meant C. Ronaldo)

(No offence to CR7)

ronaldo

Thy moves are swifter,

swifter

Swifter
Swifter

than a Taylor Swift
album
;

Coaches
admitting themselves
to asylums;

coach 1

coach 2

coach 3

That you never won the world cup
is a crime,
Sepp Blatter resigned,

Player of the tournament:
“To its biggest star
We apologise
and banish the games
to Russia,

and Qatar”

Cooling breaks
but you needed no water,
Brazilian sun,
Your tan did not suffer;

messi

Black or White:
You transcend race.
Four defenders at a time:
You transcend space.

Goal line technology:
strongly heeded,
In your case
never needed,

Freekicks:
Captain’s decision,
Xavi asking

Your permission;

Never sweating,
Never running,
Skipping, Jogging,
Twisting, Turning
Have to stop, my pen

is burning
(really burning)

God help Juve

May Buffon
never be
a Buffoon!
May Pogba
never suffer!
May Pirlo

pirlo

never shave!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s